Posted in self esteem

…fountain of youth? More like the fountain of disrespect!!!


Women EVERYWHERE crave the fountain of youth, they want to be thought of ten years younger, you’ve seen the  programme ‘TEN YEARS YOUNGER’ it is the holy grail for loads of women, but theres a downside no one thinks of,.

How about 20 years younger? That means if you’re 35? you look 15, how good would that be?

Let me start by painting a picture, everyone you know, talks down to you, cause you only look 15? People talk to you as thou you have NO life experience, you know nothing! They talk to you as though, you are backward or worthless cause hell your only 15, EVERY person you have EVER come across, come into contact with treats you, your opinions as though they DON’T count because of the way you look?

Okay, I have always looked younger, it was a real pain as a teenager, cudnt get into 15 movies, as I got older, cudnt buy cigarettes, get into nightclubs, buy alchohol and I was always,  ALWAYS,  comforted by people who said, don’t worry, when you’re older it will be such an advantage.

Well, I AM older, 20 years older and yet at 35 it is still a problem, it can be quite flattering, when you go to say buy a lighter and the man say’s, ‘how old are you’ Also quite funny actually hearing yourself say 35, however, there’s a darker more depressing side, when your in a serious situation and people talk down to you, patronise you or are just down right arrogant, I thought my age would give me a type of respect, I mean I’m a grandmother now and yet still… STILL…I get talked down to and patronised constantly, I don’t want to look unattractive and really am flattered that people think I look younger, but I still look like a teenager and am treated as such.

The frustrating thing is, sometimes even knowing my age, it’s obvious it doesn’t matter, my youthful looks still produce an insincerity and arrogance that makes me sick to the stomach, esp knowing that I’m probably at least 10 years older and possibly twice as intelligent as the eejit I’m conversating with.

This has become a real thorn in my side as my sons daughter was born, the staff at the hospital, don’t seem to equate me being his mother with me being older than 30, of course he doesn’t look very old, so maybe they are just sharing their disapproval at his predicament,

 i. e.

‘ my son became a parent so young, I dint parent him very well…’

However, surely that is a serious lack of professionalism? Its the same with the social services, it’s like, you have my date of birth in front of you and his and yet, you still feel it is appropriate to talk to me like my opinion doesn’t count, no wonder teens are so frustrated all the time, they never feel like they have a right to be heard.

That is for me the worse thing, the feeling my opinion, my thoughts, are worthless, maybe that is why i have a gift with young people, when they talk I listen, I carefully make sure they feel their opinions are important, as important as adults, maybe that’s why my teenagers have a maturity that belies their years, but I digress, looking young has huge disadvantages, you are never taken seriously and your self esteem is affected deeply and your confidence is knocked, if no one deems you capable, how do you find the strength to do what you desire to do?

There is a funny side, when you’re walking with a group of teenagers and everyone presumes you are one of them, the looks on peoples faces when one of them calls you ‘mum’ is an absolute picture!!!!

However its a small consolation for the ‘respect’ due to someone of certain years. What I find really upsetting is the look they give you when talking to you the dismissive

…  ‘ you are wasting my time, young lady’ …

look, or worse.


‘ I don’t have to share information with you, you are a minor and not privy to that information!’

equally when it comes from someone who is in a really menial job such as cleaner or shop assistant, street cleaners are the worse but I have actually found women worse than men, I never mixed with women at the school gates, because they were the worse offenders. Recently a friends boyfriend, dismissed my concerns regarding my granddaughters immanent birth, talking to me as thou I was an idiot and hes at least 10 years younger than me but as a new father presumed he was an expert talking to me like I know nothing, despite having 3 children myself.

Shopping’s a nightmare as when I enter the shop with y daughters, immediately security will follow me around assuming I am a thief, like the scene in pretty woman where they presume she can’t afford it, its a poignant part of the movie as you realise the disrespect and its that they actually feel they are Superior to her, but Julia Roberts suffered it for 15 minutes in a ‘movie’ setting. I suffer it every day, in an every day setting.

That’s what it is for me, what it is for me on a daily basis, that I am ‘less’ than them and that’s my argument, because I look so young, people think…they actually have the cheek to think I’m worthless!

It is hurtful and I’m praying to age, because I don’t think I can deal with being treated like this my whole life, I’m waiting to be regarded as an adult, not even an adult, but worthy, equal to others, you get respect as you age people talk with you, take your advice and treat you like you have experienced life and are wise, my wisdom is disregarded,being treated as a person with a WEALTH of knowledge? That has NEVER happened for me.

… and if I have to scream, “I’m 35 give me the bloody fags” to one more shop assistant I think I’m going to have a breakdown!!! (of course I’m quitting smoking soon 😉 ) but its the principle, like I have principles ha ha,  I’m only 15!




A single mother of 3 adult children. I am a writer, with ADHD focused atm on a novella concerning ho mental health affects not just the mentally ill but society as a whole. A Christian, my inspiration is drawn from the love of the almighty and my own experiences with mental health and how only through self-love and acceptance and identifying with Christ as who you are IN Him, can you navigate its pitfalls! I'm not where I want to be but thank God I'm not where I used to be!

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