When even the gift isn’t working!(Today? A.D.H.D sucks!)

Yeah, it’s a gift, that’s what my first post states at any rate, I’m fun, amazing and funny (at least people laugh at me all the time, whether that’s good or bad isn’t something I’ve fully worked out yet) and I spent alot of my time laughing at myself. However, press pause, cause OMG I want to switch off some of the shit in my head, I can’t focus for too long on one thing cause yawn (after a while, HOWEVER fantastical it is) It’s making breathing quite difficult, I have chores that not only can I not be arsed to look at BUT I don’t fucking care about until I get the bollocking later from the other half, who works REALLY hard and then I feel guilty, and yet the caring? It’s STILL not happening.

Today, I’m tired of being me, no, I’m tired of A.D.H.D I’m tired of their not being enough hours in the day, of not having the energy, of the medication working for only ten minutes cause it’s been reduced after sending my weight down to an appalling 5 and a half stone, today? I don’t want to eat and get my weight back up, I WANT THE FUCKING MEDS TO STOP MY BRAIN BEING MINE!

Take a brain every morning, that’s what it is like, I feel like I’m literally inserting my brain in every morning unless I forget THEN? I have no brain so it doesn’t matter does it? (if this cat meows one more time at me he will be in the vets for re constructive surgery VERY shortly) The novel is going well at present but doesn’t leave any room in my head for ANYTHING else and I got other stuffs I wish to do 😥

I over done the walk yesterday and am feeling it quite baD, so THAT’S going to set my stamina recovery back God knows how much, so I’m tired (oooh Caffeine pills 2 or 3? I think today DEFF demands at the very least 3)

FFS can you keep up with me? If you can, I admire you greatly because I’m literally done with me, I wish I could walk out and leave me, but alas, I cannot 😦

So my boyfriend and daughter who don’t HAVE to live with me are amazing, God knows why they’re still here! Oh hang yeah, the entertainment value, jeez guys, you could get netflix you know 😉


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