Posted in ADHD, self esteem

I believe in Jesus, but I cuss a little – A rant. by Andrea E.

Okay, maybe I should put THIS in my ‘about’ section, because it appears some people have missed the point.

I spent years. YEARS. Trying to say the right thing/Do the right thing. Over these years I (eventually) realised the old adage you can’t please ALL the people ALL the time, was true. However with me, it was more you CAN’T please ANYONE EVER.

So I quit. I became a STAUNCH NON people pleaser. – Think of it like those ex smokers who are like Nazi’s in their approach to nicotine. I LITERALLY had to (as that chick from Disney sings) LET IT GO!

And I did, COMPLETELY. I mean released into the ether FORVER.

NOW, this weekend I received a comment eluding to the fact if I ‘cleaned up’ my blog I would receive more followers and that they would promote my blog but unless its moderated they couldn’t.

At first, because they used the ‘moderate’ I thought maybe it was a comment by the moderators of the site (I mean briefly I thought, – oh shit, better look into it) So I read what they had commented on and thought, wait there, did they actually read this shit? This is a blog about the struggles of ADHD and being unable to moderate fuck all. Like seriously? Why do you want to promote it?

Aside from becoming UTTERLY confused – and I mean totally, utterly confused. UNBELIEVABLY, I began to worry. It started a trail of thought that went thus.

“Shit, I edit all the swear words out, how the hell am I going to rewrite it and sound like me? And after? How will I ever, well, write? I can’t edit my life, I’m sorry but sometimes saying ‘oh fiddlesticks’ just doesn’t cover how I feel, I need a good ‘FUCK IT’ Just about every single day.  HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS?

That was when a real beautiful thing happened. I thought…

“Wait there, how can I adequately express myself whilst self editing? Isn’t one of my biggest peeve’s that sanitisation of words removes their meaning? Why the hell am I considering this? If I moderate my blog, who the hell will it be about? How will it be ‘MY’ thoughts?

I looked at the words “I want to promote it but can’t” and an overwhelming feeling of “THEN JUST FUCK OFF” Took over. I don’t write this shit for the attention of anyone except those hurting people who might be able to identify with my struggle and I don’t care if some person who can promote ME feels they can’t. ULTIMATELY I DON’T DESIRE PROMOTION. ERGO THEY HAVE NO POWER OVER ME.


I saw a T-shirt. It says.

I believe in Jesus but I cuss a little.

I couldn’t in all good conscience wear it thou, because although I DO indeed believe in Jesus. I cuss A WHOLE FUCKING LOT. But it’s cool. I separate my ‘who’ from my ‘do’ as he does. See Nothing I can do makes me good enough people. ITS ALL ABOUT WHAT HE DONE! 😉

Y’all have a nice day now xxx

PS: I wrote a really respectful (for me considering my impulsivity) reply gracefully declining their advice.



A single mother of 3 adult children. I am a writer, with ADHD focused atm on a novella concerning ho mental health affects not just the mentally ill but society as a whole. A Christian, my inspiration is drawn from the love of the almighty and my own experiences with mental health and how only through self-love and acceptance and identifying with Christ as who you are IN Him, can you navigate its pitfalls! I'm not where I want to be but thank God I'm not where I used to be!

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